Greta's Wedding

GRETA'S WEDDING (November 1926)
Come all of you that stands around and listen to my tale,
I'll tell you of the wedding that took place at Skerray-mains
Of course we had a jolly time and everyone agreed
The puckle hens I plucked myself, they tasted scrumptiously.

Of course ye ken I'm foreman now on Ogilvie's estate
So I had a charge of all the fowls collected for their fate
Among them were contemporaries of 1914 fame
Who proudly wore the fighting spurs of coal hill fighting days.

The bridal cake when finished, boys, it was a lovely treat,
I never thought William Gunn at icing was so neat.
The Paddy washed the currants all and sliced the lemon peel
And every time he wanted more let out ungodly screams.

The invitation cards were bought by Mrs Judge of men,
She bought them at a cheaper rate than I could buy mysell.
At first they seemed quite mouldy, the guests they didna ken
They were second hand in Thurso and made in 1910.

I was bit excited as the time went swiftly on
We took the bridal measurements and tried her tissues on
Assisted by the Royals who bobbed her curly hair,
He semi-shingled all the front and left the back quite bare.

The fatal evening soon arrived and everyone could see
That Jimmy Breac was up to time and seemed immensely pleased,
While poor old Willie Ewing- he tore his hair and cried
"A happy man was I this night if my old B-- had died".

I was after standing anxiously around the school-house gate,
The winsome bride at length arrived and fairly took the cake.
Arrayed in all her fineries, old Ogilvie exclaimed
Just on the quiet "I think wore rather late".

The parson adds his blessing and poor Jimmy Breac has won,
He gathered up his treasure, then he kissed her on the chin,
But I while watching Willie, who was standing at the door
Observed his eyes were awfully red and weeping in galore.

The fun went fast and faster as Telford took the floor,
To H--- with all your eldership I want a drappie more,
lm going to have my fling tonight, he to the Paddy cried
And after that before I sleep a drawie on your pipe.

"I'm going to have a dance with you", he to the Dousag cries,
But William Gunn he interfered and blackened his two eyes
While all at once the Paddy jumped out on to the floor
And with a queer and deadly scream he seized the Molags hair.

But Molag he was ready with a left hook to the chin
He fairly laid the Paddy out and then challenged forth his son.
I had to buckle on my yorks and step into the fray
As I did not want the parson squashed on Greta's wedding day.

The scriptures plainly tell us that in a case of love
The wife obeys the husband and is as gentle as a dove,
But if this dove starts quacking she may turn into a drake,
And God help poor Jimmie for he made a big mistake.